Fast Franks #3

Bertolinos #2, 4602 So. Center St., Tacoma WA, 98405

While I prefer my local Gray’s Lumber any day of the week over the big box stores, I cannot ignore the Home Repot’s 25% off all Glidden Paints. The coffee shack outside beckoned to me for my midday feast.

Exhibit A
I’m a lover of the paper boat, but the foil “lid” did nothing to make this meal portable in any sense. It’s meant to be scarfed at their table, or in the work truck, so no matter. Beer for this test was a can of too-sweet Mug.

Exhibit B
Now I’m not too much of a hot dog purist…if you want to smother your dog with ketchup, that’s your right, and you eat what you want…but I still cannot get over the hurdle that hot dog chili should never ever have BEANS. Now if you are not the carnivorous type, bean chili is fine. Hell, I eat the canned stuff. I’d even put a swipe of bean chili on if an emergency arose, but as a personal rule: never on top of my dog. I won’t even go into how mustard should go underneath the chili…
Still, I pushed on.

Exhibit C
Most chili dog lovers will swear that a chili dog should be eaten with a fork. I make my judgement call when I’m ready to eat. I dipped my hand into the chili-slathered meal and picked up the entire mass. One bite in, it amazingly held together pretty decent. Second bite in…pure chaos. We had reached Defcon 2 in the hot dog world. Nothing but a fork could save this meal before me. The dog was a jumbo size, kosher job from the local warehouse store. Besides my initial lack of interest due to the beans in the chili, the whole experience was a favorable one. Nothing horrible…but nothing favorable, either. Kind of ‘blah’. Will do in a pinch.

Besides, it’s a hot dog, how bad could it be?

Chili dog was $3.75, can o’ Mug was 75 cents, and that smarmy little tax man skipped off with 38 of my hard earned cents. Total damage: $4.88

Tacoma Fast Franks Standings

1. Frisko Freeze Hot Dog
2. A&W Coney Dog
3. Bertolinos Chili Dog
4. tba
5. tba


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