Fast Franks #5

Jubilee, 858 S 38th St, Tacoma, WA 98418

This is part 2 of Fast Franks #4, our return back to Tacoma from a trip up north to the ‘Attle. The jLO was in attendance for this one, as well. If ever there is BAHD buttons or secret decoder rings, he gets first dibs…

Exhibit A
Jubilee on 38th. Home of my favorite milkshake (banana), and home to the truly amazing Smitty Burger. Yes, friends…I have also tried the truly awe-inspiring Double Smitty, so I know of what I speak. I go for the Chili Dog, the jLo opts for the Footlong.

Exhibit B
Now keep in mind the unflattering positioning of the footlong was of chance, so it didn’t look like that when it lay flat. Our food modelling skills were just not up to par. Upon opening my Chili’s styrofoam sarcophagus, I immediately was bummer-stricken by yet another bean chili. The jLO was staring down 12 inches of Jubilee footlong not 45 minutes after facing down 2 dogs from Matt’s Famous. What a trooper. He says:

I opted for the footlong with mustard, raw onions and relish. Bacon can be added for an additional $.60, but we didn’t see that until it was too late. Oh well, next time.

The footlong frank is of the vertically split variety, which I guess makes it easier for them to grill, but I personally am not a huge fan of. The skinny, split frank is somewhat lost in it’s oversize, pillowy “bun”, or as it should be known, a sandwich roll. I barely taste the frank, though I do get a faint essence of the grill, and due to it’s cleavage, get none of the tooth or bite that I associate with a decent dog. Now the relish. I love relish. Hot dog relish, sweet relish, neon relish, I relish relish. But when I asked for relish and received “secret sauce” (Thousand Island dressing with some sweet relish mixed in), my heart sank. This monstrosity can no longer be called a hot dog, this is a sandwich and I didn’t order a sandwich. I can only finish half of the footlong, with Chris finishing the other half. Now the roll was tasty, and truth be told, this is something that I’d throw together at home if it was late and this is what I found in the fridge, but not what I expected from a favorite neighborhood burger joint.

Damn skippy I ate the second half. I’d never had Thousand Island atop a frank. I liked it, but after I chomped half o-footlong, I could tell that would be plenty. Here’s what was staring back at me after bite #1, also known as Exhibit C:

Now if you’re expecting a bite pic of the chili dog, forget about it. There was no picking up the chili topped dog. Splitting the hot dog is just another way people prepare dogs. Not my fave, but appreciated. Even though I prefer steam, I’m always a sucker for a little bit of char. The outside of the dog itself was a bit stretchy, but juicy inside. Kind of on the small side, but not totally dwarfed by it’s bun. Onions were cool and delish. The bun disappeared, and maybe even disintegrated under a heavy warm front of bean chili moving in from the Pacific. I hate chincy plastic utensils, but I made do for half of this guy. After that, I kind of gave up. A decent offering, but I couldn’t bear another bean chili. I tore into the jLO’s remaining half of footlong at this point.

Exhibit D
2 bottles of water for $1.98 accompanied our meal, and crabby little tax man stealth bombed me for 67 cents, bringing the damage out to $8.33

The verdict? I’d do it again, but I’m not doing backflips over it. Jubilee and their Smitty (as well as other tasty treats) will stand the test of time, and their dog offerings will cure the hot dog jones, but not for long. Jubilee’s bean chili was better than Bertolino’s, and although not favored by myself, points go to Jubilee for being different by splitting their dog. However…I would scarf down a Bertolino’s dog before I would go back for a Jubilee chili dog. Jubilee chili dog gets the #5 slot, and the strangely sammich-like footlong gets #4 because I would sooner order the thousand island slathered monstrosity before diving into bean chili on a hot dog. I’m even kind of…craving one. Maybe I’ll bring my own bun this time…

Tacoma Fast Franks Standings

1. Frisko Freeze Hot Dog
2. A&W Coney Dog
3. Bertolinos Chili Dog
4. Jubilee Footlong
5. Jubilee Chili DOg


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